{"id":4165,"date":"2017-05-25T15:11:59","date_gmt":"2017-05-25T12:11:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/?p=4165"},"modified":"2018-04-11T15:14:38","modified_gmt":"2018-04-11T12:14:38","slug":"sandik","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/?p=4165","title":{"rendered":"Sand\u0131k"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>SANDIK &#8211; <\/strong><em>Ceren Cevahir G\u00fcndo\u011fan<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Yara sa\u011falt\u0131rm\u0131\u015f tuzlu su. Ne yi\u011fitler ald\u0131klar\u0131 b\u0131\u00e7ak ya da mermi yaras\u0131n\u0131 Akdeniz\u2019in sular\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131 da iyile\u015fti. Ben bilirim. Cabbar, koynunda kamas\u0131 olmadan ate\u015fin ba\u015f\u0131nda uyumazd\u0131. Uyku dedi\u011fin de bir g\u00f6z hep a\u00e7\u0131k. Ben de vard\u0131m, yan\u0131ndayd\u0131m. Ay\u0131rmazd\u0131 yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131ndan, arada s\u0131rada \u00fczerdi beni kilidim a\u00e7\u0131lmazsa s\u00f6verdi. Benimle ilgilensin diye bilerek nazlan\u0131rd\u0131m, \u00f6yle hemen a\u00e7mazd\u0131m kilidimi oysa. O nerden bilsin? \u0130sli gecelerde i\u00e7ime b\u0131rak\u0131rd\u0131 en k\u0131ymetli cevherlerini. Bazen alt\u0131nlar ta\u015fard\u0131 benden baz\u0131 uzun zaman d\u00fcnyan\u0131n pahas\u0131 bir \u00e7ift namlulu \u00e7ifte. \u2018\u0130ngilizlere vericem k\u0131z seni\u2019 derdi. \u2018Onlar k\u0131ymetini bilir, benimle bug\u00fcn var yar\u0131n yoksun. Ben yan\u0131ndayken sultanlar gibi ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n tac\u0131 ederim seni ama seni bana b\u0131rakmazlar\u2019 derdi. Ya\u011fmadan d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fseler kederli olur, ba\u015flard\u0131 konu\u015fmaya benimle. Bir elinde bo\u011fma rak\u0131, testide. Ate\u015fi yakt\u0131r\u0131r, \u00e7\u00f6merdi yan\u0131ma. Ok\u015fard\u0131 beni. \u2018Hepsi senin i\u00e7in, her \u015fey senin i\u00e7in biliyorsun de\u011fil mi? T\u00fcm bu kahpelikler, bitmeyen d\u00f6v\u00fc\u015f hepsi senin i\u00e7in. Seni kim ele ge\u00e7irmi\u015fse a\u011fa da o pa\u015fa da o.\u2019\u2019 Diye diye s\u0131zar kal\u0131rd\u0131. Mutluyduk Cabbar\u2019la. Bir kere bile yere d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmemi\u015ftir beni, \u00f6zenle ta\u015f\u0131tm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r adamlar\u0131na. E\u015fk\u0131ya denince Cabbar\u2019\u0131 anar\u0131m. Bir gece ona da pusu kurdular. Belindeki kamay\u0131 \u00e7ekip de do\u011frulamadan bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131 kesip att\u0131lar \u00f6n\u00fcme. Daha beni y\u00fcklenmeden di\u011ferleri onun kesilmi\u015f bo\u011faz\u0131ndan f\u0131\u015fk\u0131ran k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131lar\u0131 ard\u0131ndan Cabbar\u2019\u0131n ela, kocaman g\u00f6zlerini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bana bak\u0131yordu. Ka\u00e7 kurtar kendini demek istiyordu sanki. \u00a0Ka\u00e7amad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Adamlar\u0131 ele vermi\u015f. Zaten hi\u00e7 sevmemi\u015ftim onlar\u0131. Cabbar\u2019\u0131 sevmediklerini hissederdim. \u00a0O an orada, Cabbar\u2019la birlikte beni de \u00f6ld\u00fcrs\u00fcnler isterdim. Yaks\u0131nlar, k\u00fcllerim onun kan\u0131na kar\u0131\u015fs\u0131n\u2026 Y\u0131llar ge\u00e7ip de el de\u011fi\u015ftirdik\u00e7e anlad\u0131m ki e\u015fyalar \u00f6lmez. Bizim de kaderimiz bu. \u0130nsanlar iyi, genelde hepsini severim ama ba\u011flanmaya gelmez, \u00e7ok \u00e7abuk \u00f6l\u00fcyorlar. \u00a0Cabbar\u2019\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcren adam, Tayyar A\u011fa o gece sabaha kar\u015f\u0131 at\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnden Adana\u2019daki kona\u011f\u0131na getirdi beni. Ne yapt\u0131ysa kilidimi a\u00e7mad\u0131m. O anahtar\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fc ben tekrar d\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Kan ter i\u00e7inde kald\u0131. Tam silah\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p kilidimi hedefleyecekti ki \u00f6ks\u00fcrmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Adamlar\u0131 yeti\u015fti, su getirdiler ona. Sonra da beni sabun kokulu bir odaya g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcp b\u0131rakt\u0131lar. \u00c7ok uzun zaman ge\u00e7ti yan\u0131ma hi\u00e7 kimse gelmedi. Kona\u011f\u0131n seslerinden olup bitenleri anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Sesleri can kula\u011f\u0131yla dinledim \u00f6yle bir dinledim ki kim iyi kim k\u00f6t\u00fc, kim korkak kim cesur, kim a\u011fa kim kul anlayabileyim. Olmad\u0131. En nihayetinde bir sabah portakal kokulu gen\u00e7 bir kad\u0131n geldi yan\u0131ma. Sevgiyle ok\u015fad\u0131 beni, Arap\u00e7a bir \u015feyler s\u00f6yledi. Elleriyle her yan\u0131m\u0131 inceledi ve onun bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7ime i\u015fledi. Kapa\u011f\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m. \u0130\u00e7imdeki cevherlere \u015f\u00f6yle bir bak\u0131p yere koydu. Ellerini tekrar \u00fczerimde gezdirdi. Odadan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. B\u00fcy\u00fclenmi\u015f gibiydim. Onun portakal tazesi endam\u0131, s\u0131cakl\u0131k veren, sarmalayan elleri h\u00e2l\u00e2 yan\u0131mdaym\u0131\u015f gibi uzun derin bir uykuya dald\u0131m. Uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131mda onun odas\u0131ndayd\u0131m. G\u00fcnlerimiz G\u00fclnaz\u2019la \u2013ad\u0131 G\u00fclnaz\u2019d\u0131 tatl\u0131 sahibemin-\u00a0 onun odas\u0131nda ge\u00e7iyordu. Annesi Senem Han\u0131m\u2019\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm ilk g\u00fcn G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n g\u00fczelli\u011fini kimden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlad\u0131m. G\u00fczelli\u011fi annesindendi de kederini i\u00e7e g\u00f6m\u00fcp tatl\u0131 tatl\u0131 bakmas\u0131?<\/p>\n<p>G\u00fclnaz gelin oldu. Atlara y\u00fcklenip onun yeni evinin yolunu tuttuk. Bir d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn ki, k\u0131rk g\u00fcn k\u0131rk gece\u2026 T\u00fcm bir k\u00f6y yiyip i\u00e7ti, g\u00fcnler geceler boyu yeni evlilerin ne\u015fesine ortak oldu. G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n yatak odas\u0131nda, ba\u015f k\u00f6\u015fedeydim.\u00a0 K\u0131rk g\u00fcn k\u0131rk gece, k\u00f6y\u00fcn a\u011fas\u0131 Mahmut\u2019un damat Recep, G\u00fclnaz\u2019la hemhal olamad\u0131. G\u00fclnaz ne yapt\u0131 ne ettiyse Recep gelip de G\u00fclnaz\u2019a sokulmaya yana\u015fmad\u0131. Bo\u011fmay\u0131 fazla ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131 dediler\u2026 Hafta ge\u00e7ti. G\u00fcl esanslar\u0131, hac\u0131 ya\u011flar\u0131, g\u00f6z s\u00fczmeler, Damat Recep bana m\u0131s\u0131n demedi. Ailesine el \u00f6pmeye gitme vakti geldiklerinde G\u00fclnaz i\u00e7erledi, karalar ba\u011flay\u0131p odas\u0131ndan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 ad\u0131m dahi atmad\u0131. Damat Recep\u2019in annesiyle ablas\u0131 G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n odas\u0131nda onunla uzun uzun konu\u015ftu. Konu\u015fman\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc, me\u011ferse k\u0131z Recep derlermi\u015f, iflah olmaz hastal\u0131\u011fa tutulmu\u015f. G\u00f6z\u00fc k\u00f6y\u00fcn imam\u0131ndan ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmezmi\u015f. Bu hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden gidilmedik hoca \u00e7al\u0131nmad\u0131k kap\u0131 kalmam\u0131\u015f ya Recep imam Hasan der ba\u015fkaca s\u00f6z bilmezmi\u015f. Halbuki annesi daha \u00e7ocukken Recep\u2019in k\u0131\u00e7lar\u0131na kire\u00e7ler bile s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f. Da\u011flad\u0131m sanm\u0131\u015f Recep\u2019in oras\u0131n\u0131. Askere gidince d\u00fczelir demi\u015fler ama ne fayda\u2026 Askerli\u011fini yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 K\u0131br\u0131s\u2019tan d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fte kara ka\u015flar\u0131 al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, y\u00fcr\u00fcrken kendisinin fark\u0131nda, dik duru\u015fuyla, bakanda m\u00fcstehcen bir portreye bakarm\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na g\u00f6zlerini ka\u00e7\u0131rma duygusu veren Recep\u2019i kar\u015f\u0131lar\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcr g\u00f6rmez, kire\u00e7 da\u011flaman\u0131n hi\u00e7bir faydas\u0131n\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamakta gecikmemi\u015fler. Erkek \u00e7ocu\u011fudur, evlenirse d\u00fczelir diyerek imam\u0131n evine gidip gelmelerine ses \u00e7\u0131kartmam\u0131\u015flar. Gerdek gecesi sonras\u0131nda karalar ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f taze gelin G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n halini g\u00f6r\u00fcr g\u00f6rmez anne-abla, ailenin kad\u0131nlar\u0131 olarak duruma el koymu\u015f, acilen G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131 da i\u00e7ine alan bir su\u00e7 ortakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 plan\u0131na giri\u015fmi\u015flerdi. G\u00fclnaz kay\u0131nvalidesi ve g\u00f6r\u00fcmcesinin g\u00f6zlerini k\u00e2h belertip k\u00e2h k\u0131sarak anlatt\u0131klar\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131ktan ne diyece\u011fini bilemedi. Sabaha do\u011fru horozlar\u0131n \u00f6t\u00fcm\u00fcyle sen \u015fimdi dinlen dedikleri taze gelini odada yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakt\u0131lar. G\u00fclnaz korktu. Bahts\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131na kahretti. A\u011flad\u0131. Baba evine d\u00f6nemezdi. Bu utan\u00e7la onlar\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kartaca\u011f\u0131na kendini \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc daha iyiydi. \u00d6lmeye karar verdi. Kay\u0131nvalidesi o gece odada, o\u011flunun k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken marabalardan birinin kar\u0131s\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gadri anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Maraban\u0131n kar\u0131s\u0131, \u00a0\u00e7ocu\u011fu besin yetersizli\u011finden \u00f6l\u00fcnce Mahmut A\u011fa\u2019y\u0131 su\u00e7lam\u0131\u015f, senin de \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00f6lmekten beter olsun s\u00fcr\u00fcm s\u00fcr\u00fcm s\u00fcr\u00fcns\u00fcn diye beddua etmi\u015f. Yetmemi\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck Recep\u2019in ad\u0131n\u0131 anarak kara b\u00fcy\u00fc yapm\u0131\u015f. \u0130\u015fte ne olduysa o g\u00fcnden sonra olmu\u015f. \u015eimdi G\u00fclnaz\u2019a d\u00fc\u015fen kocas\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fczelece\u011fi g\u00fcn\u00fc sab\u0131rla beklemekmi\u015f. \u0130stemedi\u011fi kadar burma bilezik, be\u015fi bir yerde, salk\u0131m k\u00fcpe vereceklermi\u015f. Yeter ki G\u00fclnaz, hi\u00e7 kimseye bir \u015fey anlatmas\u0131nm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>G\u00fclnaz kendini \u00f6ld\u00fcrmek istemi\u015f, korkusundan o por\u00e7\u00f6z dolu bidonu bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc kafaya dikleyememi\u015fti. Ev i\u015flerini bitirip dilindeki t\u00fcrk\u00fcleri de susunca kapa\u011f\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7ar, hi\u00e7 kullanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kanavi\u00e7elerini \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r usulca a\u011flard\u0131. B\u00f6yle g\u00fcnler geceler ge\u00e7irdik. G\u00fclnaz, o \u00e7ok istedi\u011fi minik pembe y\u00fczl\u00fc bebe\u011fine kavu\u015famayacak olman\u0131n ac\u0131s\u0131yla t\u00fcrk\u00fclere vurdu kendini. Damat Recep g\u00f6nl\u00fcnce istedi\u011fi yere gitmeye sabaha do\u011fru eve gelip yata\u011fa s\u0131zmaya devam ederken bir ak\u015fam gen\u00e7 bir adamla birlikte eve geldi. Askerlik arkada\u015f\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. Bir s\u00fcre bizimle kalacakm\u0131\u015f. G\u00fclnaz, mutfakta, misafire ikram etmek i\u00e7in yemek haz\u0131rlad\u0131. Elinde yiyecekleri koydu\u011fu siniyle salona gitti. Yerde oturan Recep\u2019le misafirin \u00f6n\u00fcne, \u00e7\u00f6kelek, ezme, k\u0131s\u0131r, g\u00f6zleme, Arap dolmas\u0131, ayran dolu siniyi e\u011filip koydu\u011fu s\u0131rada k\u0131sac\u0131k bir an misafirle g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geldi. Yang\u0131n oldu. G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnden b\u00fclb\u00fcller havaland\u0131. Kan\u0131 titredi. G\u00f6zlerinde misafirin kara g\u00f6zleri m\u00fch\u00fcrlendi. \u00a0Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 unuttu kafas\u0131 kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00d6ld\u00fcm sand\u0131, nefes almay\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131. Y\u00fcre\u011finin at\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ben bile duydum. Geldi yan\u0131ma, \u00e7\u00f6md\u00fc. Y\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00fcl\u00fcyordu g\u00fcl\u00fcm\u00fcn. \u0130\u00e7im rahatlad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ertesi sabah Misafir \u015fehre gitmesi gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yleyince Recep de G\u00fclnaz\u2019a haz\u0131rlan gidelim dedi. G\u00fclnaz sevin\u00e7ten \u00e7\u0131ld\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, odaya geldi dolab\u0131ndaki giysileri kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131 en g\u00fczel esvaplar\u0131n\u0131 giyindi. \u00c7\u0131k\u0131p gittiler. Atlar\u0131n\u0131n d\u00f6rtnala sesini duydum. G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n o \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi at\u0131 sanki daha da co\u015fkuluydu. G\u00fclnaz\u0131m\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fc hep g\u00fclseydi ya b\u00f6yle\u2026\u00a0 Belli ki ate\u015f bacay\u0131 sarm\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6nl\u00fc Misafir\u2019in g\u00f6nl\u00fcne ak\u0131p gitmi\u015fti. D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f yolunda at\u0131 \u015fahlanan Misafir at\u0131n\u0131 dizginleyemeyince yere d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f. Eve geldiklerinde can\u0131 ac\u0131yordu. G\u00fclnaz oradan oraya ko\u015fturuyor ne yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilemez halde \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcyle dolan\u0131yordu. Recep, omzuna girdi\u011fi arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yava\u015f\u00e7a getirip onun odas\u0131ndaki yer yata\u011f\u0131na yat\u0131rd\u0131. Sen \u015fimdi uyu ben bir ko\u015fu gider Doktor getirtirim diyip \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fc \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcden \u00a0solmu\u015f, endi\u015feyle Misafir\u2019in odas\u0131na girip girmemekte teredd\u00fct ediyordu. Bir inleme duydu sand\u0131. G\u00fclnaz Bac\u0131\u2026 gelir misin\u2026 G\u00fclnaz, yerde yatan adam\u0131n odas\u0131na girer girmez hafifledi. Yine b\u00fclb\u00fcller kanat \u00e7\u0131rpt\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011finde. Allar bast\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc. Buyur karde\u015f\u2026 Yan\u0131ma gelir misin? G\u00fclnaz, Misafir\u2019in yan\u0131na gitti, yere e\u011fildi ve adam\u0131n g\u00fczel y\u00fcz\u00fcne hayranl\u0131kla bakarken Misafir\u2019in eli G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n belini kavrad\u0131, yata\u011fa \u00e7ekti. Zevkle, i\u015ftahla sevi\u015ftiler. Adam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde h\u0131zla gidip gelen G\u00fclnaz\u00a0 \u015fehvetle ak\u0131yordu. \u015eelalenin \u00e7a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o en u\u00e7 noktada bamba\u015fka bir varl\u0131k oldu. Hayat\u0131nda ilk defa kendini eksiksiz ve \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck hissetti. G\u00fcr\u00fcl g\u00fcr\u00fcl kanad\u0131 ve sevi\u015fmeleri sonland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda adam G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n memelerini \u00f6pt\u00fc, koklad\u0131. Bilmiyordum\u00a0dedi\u2026 Ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla, bilmiyordum\u2026 G\u00fclnaz g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi ve giysilerini alarak odas\u0131na, benim yan\u0131ma ko\u015ftu. Giyinirken, sevin\u00e7le \u0131\u015f\u0131ldayan g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. \u00c7orba kaynat\u0131p Misafir\u2019e i\u00e7irdi. Ortal\u0131\u011f\u0131 toparlamaya giri\u015fti\u011fi s\u0131rada yan\u0131nda doktorla Recep i\u00e7eri girdi. Doktor, Misafir\u2019in ciddi bir \u015feyi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, bir iki g\u00fcn dinlenirse hi\u00e7bir \u015feyinin kalmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyerek i\u011fne yap\u0131p gitti.<\/p>\n<p>Misafir geldi\u011finden beri gece evden \u00e7\u0131kmayan Recep, G\u00fclnaz\u2019a ben otura\u011fa gidiyorum, bir ihtiyac\u0131 olursa g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u00fcn diyerek Misafir\u2019i G\u00fclnaz\u2019a emanet edip gitti. G\u00fclnaz t\u00fcm gece emanetinin \u00fcst\u00fcnde \u00e7a\u011flamaya devam etti.<\/p>\n<p>Gel zaman git zaman, bir g\u00fcn G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n kay\u0131nvalidesiyle g\u00f6r\u00fcmcesi \u00e7at kap\u0131 geldiler eve. Allar\u0131 al morlar\u0131 mor G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131 odaya \u00e7ekip bu Misafir\u2019in kimin nesi oldu\u011funu, ne diye h\u00e2l\u00e2 onlarda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 G\u00fclnaz ne cevap verirse versin inanmayan g\u00f6zlerini arada koca koca a\u00e7\u0131p arada k\u0131sarak sordular. Kay\u0131nvalide, Misafir\u2019in Recep\u2019in askerlik arkada\u015f\u0131 oldu\u011funu burada birlikte lokanta a\u00e7acaklar\u0131n\u0131 duydu\u011funda \u00f6nce sevinir gibi olmu\u015f fakat k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede bu lokantan\u0131n gece olunca k\u0131l\u0131k de\u011fi\u015ftirip pavyon olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ng\u00f6rerek sevinci k\u0131sa s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. G\u00fclnaz, ayran getirmek i\u00e7in odadan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131ndaysa k\u0131z\u0131yla aralar\u0131nda konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131lar. G\u00f6r\u00fcmcesi, G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n ne kadar g\u00fczelle\u015fmi\u015f oldu\u011funu, g\u00f6zlerinin i\u00e7inin \u0131\u015f\u0131ldad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi annesine. \u0130\u00e7eri giren G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131 uzun uzun s\u00fczd\u00fcler. O anda G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n Misafir\u2019le \u00e7oktan kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ke\u015ffetti\u011fini anlad\u0131lar. Kay\u0131nvalide ayran barda\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kafas\u0131na dikti. K\u0131z\u0131 da o ne yaparsa ayn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yap\u0131yordu. Kap\u0131ya yakla\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131nda durup G\u00fclnaz\u2019a g\u00f6zlerini dikti ve buyurgan bir sesle. Bir o\u011ful ver de aln\u0131m\u0131z aklans\u0131n dedi ve h\u0131\u015f\u0131mla \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gitti.<\/p>\n<p>Recep s\u00fcrekli sarho\u015f, tan yeri a\u011far\u0131rken geliyor yata\u011fa girip s\u0131z\u0131yordu. Misafir\u2019le birlikte lokanta a\u00e7t\u0131lar ama kay\u0131nvalidenin tahmin etti\u011fi gibi gece pavyon de\u011fil kumarhaneye d\u00f6nd\u00fc ortam. Misafir lokantan\u0131n yak\u0131n\u0131nda bir eve yerle\u015fti. G\u00fclnaz\u2019la girdi\u011fi tutkulu ili\u015fki uzun aral\u0131klarla s\u00fcrd\u00fcyse de G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n karn\u0131n\u0131n giderek b\u00fcy\u00fcmesiyle ve zaten \u00e7\u0131kan dedikodular\u0131 da art\u0131k g\u00f6rmezden gelemeyecekleri i\u00e7in k\u00f6yden bir k\u0131zla evlendi apar topar. D\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc, G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131 bir sanc\u0131d\u0131r tuttu\u2026 Tam d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne gitmek i\u00e7in evden \u00e7\u0131kacaklar\u0131 s\u0131ra yere y\u0131\u011f\u0131ld\u0131 kald\u0131. Ebe kad\u0131n \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131 ve G\u00fclnaz benim yan\u0131mda, bizim odam\u0131zda d\u00fcnya \u015fekeri bir bebek do\u011furdu. Bebek k\u0131zd\u0131. Kay\u0131nvalide, somurtup otursa da kimseye belli etmemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Recep bebe\u011fe \u015f\u00f6yle bir bak\u0131p, G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn i\u00e7in sard\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir tencere dolusu sarmay\u0131 da al\u0131p askerlik arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fcn yap\u0131laca\u011f\u0131 evin yolunu tuttu. G\u00fclnaz birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn yatt\u0131ktan sonra ayakland\u0131. K\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ok sevmi\u015fti. Lo\u011fusa hummas\u0131 olur da bebe\u011fe zarar verir diye g\u00f6r\u00fcmcesi yan\u0131nda kald\u0131 bir s\u00fcre. Sonra G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131n annesi geldi diye kendi evine d\u00f6nd\u00fc. G\u00fclnaz, bebe\u011fiyle hep konu\u015fuyordu. Talihsiz mini\u011fim benim diyordu, g\u00fczel g\u00f6zl\u00fc ceylan\u0131m. Anne kurban olsun\u2026 G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131na bo\u011fulup bebe\u011fini g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne bast\u0131r\u0131yordu. \u00a0G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131 g\u00f6rmeye gelen kad\u0131nlardan duydum ki d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn gecesi Misafir pek bir ne\u015fesizmi\u015f. Arada kalk\u0131p oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131, silah\u0131n\u0131 ate\u015fledi\u011fi olmu\u015f ama y\u00fcz\u00fc hi\u00e7 g\u00fclm\u00fcyormu\u015f. Zaten sonraki t\u00fcm zamanlar boyunca hi\u00e7 kimsenin y\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00fclmedi.<\/p>\n<p>Bebe\u011fin ad\u0131n\u0131 Sadeg\u00fcl koydular. Sadeg\u00fcl b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc, birazc\u0131k okula gitti. Evin t\u00fcm i\u015flerini \u00fcstlendi. \u00c7eyizine danteller haz\u0131rlad\u0131 annesi. Onun da gelin olma g\u00fcn\u00fc geldi\u011finde avluda yap\u0131lan d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn sonras\u0131 g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla bir kamyonetin kasas\u0131nda yeni yolculu\u011fumuz ba\u015flad\u0131. \u0130stanbul\u2019a geldik. Damad\u0131m\u0131z Sabri\u2019nin o \u00e7al\u0131\u015fkan, han\u0131m\u0131na iyi davranan gen\u00e7 adam\u0131n sonunun b\u00f6yle olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyorduk ki. Bilemezdik.<\/p>\n<p>Sabri, B\u00fcy\u00fckada\u2019da garsondu. Sadeg\u00fcl de ben de ilk kez deniz g\u00f6rd\u00fck. \u0130ki g\u00f6z gecekondumuza yerle\u015ftik. Sabri ile Sadeg\u00fcl boyuna sevi\u015fip \u00fc\u00e7 \u00e7ocuk yapt\u0131lar. Mutluyduk. Ge\u00e7im derdi vard\u0131 ya olsun, bir ka\u015f\u0131k \u00e7orba herkese yetiyordu i\u015fte. Sadeg\u00fcl de Ada\u2019n\u0131n di\u011fer k\u0131\u015fl\u0131k\u00e7\u0131 kad\u0131nlar\u0131 gibi evlere temizli\u011fe gitmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc. K\u0131zlar\u0131 Ay\u015fe ve Nurten i\u00e7in bir oda daha yapt\u0131lar arka tarafa. En b\u00fcy\u00fckleri Mustafa, yazlar\u0131 \u015fezlong\u00e7uluk yap\u0131yordu sahilde. Ya\u015f\u0131 gelip de askerli\u011fini yap\u0131p d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde Almanya\u2019ya gidece\u011fim diye tutturmu\u015f, oradaki akraba ve k\u00f6yl\u00fclere mektup yaz\u0131p duruyordu. K\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131za talibim diye. Sabri, \u00e7ocuklar b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e de\u011fi\u015fmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Eskisi gibi Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcnce g\u00f6zleri parlamaz oldu. Garsonlu\u011fu b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f, ak\u015fama kadar kahvede ya da kim bilir neredeydi. Gecenin bir yar\u0131s\u0131 sarho\u015f bir halde gelip olmad\u0131k sebepten Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fc d\u00f6ver olmu\u015ftu. Her seferinde k\u0131zlar yeti\u015fiyor, iki\u015fer \u00fc\u00e7er tekme-yumruk da onlar yiyordu. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n k\u00fcf\u00fcr\u00fc de yan\u0131nda hediye\u2026 Sabahlara kadar a\u011flard\u0131 Sadeg\u00fcl k\u0131zlarla birlikte. Sabri \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fc yediniz, bitirdiniz beni\u2026 diye diye s\u0131z\u0131p kal\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Sadeg\u00fcl y\u0131llarca g\u0131k bile demeden, y\u00fcks\u00fcnmeden evlere temizli\u011fe gidip geldi. Temizli\u011fe gitti\u011fi ailelerden Noel\u2019i, Hanuka\u2019y\u0131, Paskalya\u2019y\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi. Kendi de evinde \u00e7am kozalaklar\u0131ndan Noel s\u00fcs\u00fc yapt\u0131, han\u0131m\u0131ndan \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fi gibi mahlepli paskalya \u00e7\u00f6rekleri s\u00fcrd\u00fc f\u0131r\u0131na, yedirdi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na. Kendinde ne yoksa k\u0131zlar\u0131nda o olsun istedi, \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, didindi. Sonunda Mustafa\u2019ya Almanc\u0131 akrabalardan birinden olumlu yan\u0131t geldi. Berlin\u2019de kebap d\u00fckkan\u0131 olan bu akraba, hem i\u015fte g\u00fcvenilir birine ihtiya\u00e7 duymu\u015f hem de evlenme \u00e7a\u011f\u0131na gelen k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n g\u00e2vurdan birine ka\u00e7mas\u0131ndan korkup Mustafa\u2019y\u0131 damat olarak belirlemi\u015fti. Mustafa anne-babas\u0131n\u0131n elini \u00f6p\u00fcp k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir bavulla Almanya\u2019ya gitti. D\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn de dernek de orada kay\u0131npeder taraf\u0131ndan yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sadeg\u00fcl ile Sabri\u2019ye de u\u00e7ak biletlerini g\u00f6ndermi\u015f onlar da o\u011fullar\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcr\u00fcvvetini g\u00f6rmek i\u00e7in yola d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Orada ne oldu, neler ya\u015fand\u0131 bilmiyorum ama d\u00f6nd\u00fcklerinde Sabri daha da k\u00f6t\u00fc bir adam olmu\u015ftu. Arada hap att\u0131\u011f\u0131 da oluyordu. \u0130\u015fte o zamanlar Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fcn kahr\u0131 ba\u015fl\u0131yordu. D\u00f6vd\u00fck\u00e7e d\u00f6v\u00fcyor, k\u00fcfrettik\u00e7e k\u00fcfrediyordu. K\u0131zlar da liseyi bitirmi\u015fti. Biri sekreterlik yap\u0131yordu. Di\u011feri markette kasiyerdi. Sadeg\u00fcl bari k\u0131zlar kurtulsun bu hafitin elinden diyerek temizli\u011fe gitti\u011fi evlerdeki ablalar\u0131na haber sald\u0131. Olur da talip \u00e7\u0131karsa diye. Me\u011fer ki k\u0131zlar \u00e7oktan g\u00f6n\u00fcllerini kapt\u0131rm\u0131\u015flar birilerine. Bir gece, Sadeg\u00fcl k\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131 bir odaya \u00e7ekip de evlenip gidin, kurtulun art\u0131k dedi\u011finde k\u0131zlar kikirdeyerek s\u00f6ylediler annelerine. K\u0131sa aral\u0131klar ikisi de evlendi. Biri Alt\u0131ntepe taraf\u0131na gelin gitti, di\u011feri Gayrettepe. Sadeg\u00fcl mutluydu, damatlar da k\u0131zlar\u0131 seviyordu. Sabri ile y\u0131llard\u0131r s\u00fcren m\u00fccadelesinde \u015fimdi tek ba\u015f\u0131nayd\u0131. Mustafa her ay anne-babas\u0131na para g\u00f6nderiyordu. Sabri, Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019e paradan hi\u00e7 vermiyor, ak\u015fama kadar can\u0131 nerede ne isterse onu yiyip i\u00e7iyordu. Eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde de hap, esrar ne alm\u0131\u015fsa art\u0131k i\u00e7indeki t\u00fcm k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ortaya sa\u00e7\u0131yordu. Yaz gelmi\u015f, Sadeg\u00fcl evin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki ormanl\u0131k yolun a\u015fa\u011f\u0131s\u0131ndaki plajda \u015fezlong a\u00e7maya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Buras\u0131, sadece erkekten d\u00f6nme kad\u0131nlar\u0131n ve erkeklerle birlikte olan erkeklerin gelip y\u00fczd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, e\u011flenip g\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, kendilerini rahat hissettikleri gizli bir koydu. Sadeg\u00fcl onlar\u0131 severdi. Onlar\u0131n yan\u0131nda kendisini rahat ve emniyette hissederdi. Baz\u0131 g\u00fcnler, onlara satt\u0131\u011f\u0131 biralar\u0131 buzdolab\u0131ndan almak i\u00e7in eve geldi\u011finde yan\u0131nda onlardan biri olan arkada\u015f\u0131 Naz da olurdu. Naz, uzun boylu, incecik, sar\u0131 sa\u00e7l\u0131, g\u00fczel bir kad\u0131nd\u0131. Konu\u015ftu\u011fu zamansa g\u00f6k g\u00fcrl\u00fcyor gibiydi. Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019e k\u0131z gitmeden bir kahve i\u00e7elim de fal\u0131ma bak nolur derdi. Sadeg\u00fcl k\u0131rmazd\u0131 onu. Naz\u2019a moral olsun diye hep g\u00fczel \u015feylerden bahsederdi. Bir g\u00fcn yine b\u00f6yle eve so\u011fuk su ve bira almaya gelmi\u015flerdi de erken gelen Sabri\u2019yi evde bulmu\u015flard\u0131. Sabri Naz\u2019\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce yerinden f\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f, abart\u0131l\u0131 hareketlerle ho\u015f geldiniz han\u0131mefendi buyurun oturun buyurun demi\u015fti.\u00a0Sadeg\u00fcl Sabri\u2019nin k\u0131zaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sanm\u0131\u015f, tersi bir davran\u0131\u015fta bulundu\u011fu i\u00e7in sevinmi\u015fti. Sabri, ben de geleyim sizinle plaja diye tutturunca Naz ona sert\u00e7e bak\u0131p gerek yok, ben ta\u015f\u0131r\u0131m diyerek po\u015fetleri elinden alm\u0131\u015f ve gelmesini \u00f6nlemi\u015fti. O gece Sabri, sabaha kadar Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fc d\u00f6vd\u00fc. O ibnelerle ne i\u015fin var lan\u2026 \u0130bneye bak, bir de beni be\u011fenmiyor o haliyle\u2026 diyip vurduk\u00e7a vuruyordu. Ertesi g\u00fcn Sadeg\u00fcl plaja gitmeyince Naz merak edip eve gelmi\u015fti. Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fcn y\u00fcz\u00fcnde dayak izlerini g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde de elleri k\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131n in\u015fallah d\u00f6veyim mi o hayvan\u0131 demi\u015fti. \u0130stemedi Sadeg\u00fcl, daha da beter olur dedi. Birbirlerine sar\u0131larak a\u011flad\u0131lar. Onlar\u0131 \u00f6yle g\u00f6r\u00fcnce ben de a\u011flad\u0131m. Nemden sand\u0131lard\u0131. Bir ak\u015fam Sadeg\u00fcl elinde telefon a\u011flaya a\u011flaya bitap d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. K\u00f6ydeki babadan kalma topraklar\u0131n\u0131\u00a0 halas\u0131n\u0131n o\u011fullar\u0131 kendi \u00fcstlerine ge\u00e7irmi\u015f. Ertesi sabah birlikte plaja gitmek i\u00e7in Naz eve geldi\u011finde anlatt\u0131 ona. Ne bahts\u0131z\u0131m ben, gidecek hi\u00e7bir yerim yok diyip durdu. Naz onu teselli etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ama Sadeg\u00fcl susmad\u0131. O ak\u015fam plaj bo\u015falm\u0131\u015f, Sadeg\u00fcl \u015fezlonglar\u0131 \u00fcst \u00fcste koymu\u015f, eve geldi. Kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda salondaki kanepede ayaklar\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde \u00e7\u00f6melmi\u015f bir kad\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde h\u0131rlayarak gidip gelen Sabri\u2019yi g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Sabri g\u00fcl\u00fcm\u2026 a\u015fk\u0131m\u2026 \u00f6l\u00fcr\u00fcm sana yavrum.. diyordu. \u00a0G\u00f6z\u00fc karard\u0131 Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fcn. Bah\u00e7eden baltay\u0131 kap\u0131p geldi. Bir anda oldu her \u015fey. Sabri\u2019nin s\u0131rt\u0131na saplad\u0131 baltay\u0131. Kad\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u0131\u011f\u0131ld\u0131 Sabri. Kad\u0131n yan d\u00f6n\u00fcp de Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcnce \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k atmaya f\u0131rsat bulamadan kafas\u0131na baltay\u0131 yedi. Bir anda sesleri soluklar\u0131 kesildi. Sadeg\u00fcl att\u0131 elinden baltay\u0131. Yan\u0131ma geldi. Naz\u2019\u0131 arad\u0131. \u00c7abuk gel n\u2019olursun acil dedi. Vapura binmek \u00fczereymi\u015f Naz, az sonra \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 geldi. G\u00f6zleri b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc \u00f6nce. Sonra donup kalm\u0131\u015f Sadeg\u00fcl\u2019e tokat att\u0131. Tamam yedin bir bok, toparlan \u015fimdi dedi. Sabri\u2019yle kad\u0131n\u0131 par\u00e7alara b\u00f6ld\u00fcler.\u00a0 Yerleri \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r sular\u0131yla sildiler. Sadeg\u00fcl yan\u0131ma geldi, i\u00e7imde ne var ne yok bo\u015faltt\u0131. Salona getirdi beni. Bu olur mu dedi Naz\u2019a. Ba\u015f\u0131yla onaylad\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ime t\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131lar Sabri ile kad\u0131n\u0131. Her yerim kan oldu. Y\u00fcklenip ormanl\u0131ktan plaja indirdiler beni. Kay\u0131\u011fa bindik. Naz k\u00fcreklere as\u0131ld\u0131, denizin ortas\u0131na gelince kald\u0131rd\u0131lar beni. \u0130\u00e7imde Sabri, i\u00e7imde kad\u0131n. Yaz\u0131k kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131za dedi Naz. Sadeg\u00fcl, bu pisli\u011fe kanm\u0131\u015f i\u015fte dedi. B\u0131rakt\u0131lar beni tuzlu suya. Batt\u0131m. \u0130\u00e7imde Sabri, i\u00e7imde hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir kad\u0131n. Diplere yol ald\u0131k. Cabbar\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6zleri geldi akl\u0131ma. \u0130ngilizlere verecem seni k\u0131z, onlar bilir k\u0131ymetini derdi bana. Sabun kokulu G\u00fclnaz\u2019\u0131 \u00f6zledim. \u015eimdi tuzlu sular\u0131n i\u00e7inde kafas\u0131 dumanl\u0131 Sabri, hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir kad\u0131nla sonsuzlu\u011fa kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. Benim sonum b\u00f6yle mi olacakt\u0131?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>SANDIK &#8211; Ceren Cevahir G\u00fcndo\u011fan &nbsp; Yara sa\u011falt\u0131rm\u0131\u015f tuzlu su. Ne yi\u011fitler ald\u0131klar\u0131 b\u0131\u00e7ak ya da mermi yaras\u0131n\u0131 Akdeniz\u2019in sular\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131 da iyile\u015fti. Ben bilirim. Cabbar, koynunda kamas\u0131 olmadan ate\u015fin ba\u015f\u0131nda uyumazd\u0131. Uyku dedi\u011fin de bir g\u00f6z hep a\u00e7\u0131k. Ben de vard\u0131m, yan\u0131ndayd\u0131m. Ay\u0131rmazd\u0131 yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131ndan, arada s\u0131rada \u00fczerdi beni kilidim a\u00e7\u0131lmazsa s\u00f6verdi. Benimle ilgilensin &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4166,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[133],"tags":[134],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4165"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4165"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4165\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4167,"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4165\/revisions\/4167"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4166"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dokuzadabirdeniz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}